reflections of life
by kristy87
Summary: Sara reflects her life in a moment that was meant to be her last. GSR


**Disclaimer: **I own nothing

**AN: **I got the idea for this story last night...under the influence of painkillers that i was actually not allowed to take, because I react allergic against some stuff in it...but this is anotrher story.

This story plays some years in the future. It's a GSR piece and they are already in a relationship.

**Summary: **Sara reflects her life in a moment that was thought to be her last.

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**Reflections of life**

"Sara! Sara don't leave me!"

She could feel that he was holding her hand. Far, far away she could hear his voice. It sounded as if he was miles away, but his hand held hers, so he was here. He was next to her, holding her during the most painful minutes of her life. She wasn't scared. She wasn't scared at all.

First she had felt the pain, the heartbreaking, incredible painful pain…but now, now it felt as if she'd be free, she was on her way to be free.

**In the last moments of our lives, seconds will turn into hours and reflections will let us live our life again in just one moment.**

"Sara, baby, stay strong! You have to fight!"

Reflections. She saw them, she saw pictures running by, first fast, then they got slower and slower. Finally she could make out what they showed.

A baby, held by a man.

_Father, he never really behaved like a father. He was never a real father…a real father wouldn't have done to us what he did! He used my mother and me as his punching bag, he hit my brother and turned him into an even more brutal person than he himself had been. _

"Fight! Angel you have to fight! You can't leave me!"

A girl that's building sandcastles at a beach.

_Living near a beach…sandcastles…I always hoped one day a glorious prince would come and save me, a glorious man would get me out of the hell of my life back then. I wonder why this picture doesn't show the bruises and the cuts…has my childhood been happy? Was I building sandcastles for fun? Or was I just searching for a place to run to? I lived in my own little dream world back then…I was a princess, and I had friends, my parents were king and queen and they loved me. And they would never fight._

"I need you!"

A woman with a knife in her hand, leaning over a man that lay on the ground, in a pool of blood. A little girl, standing in a corner of a room, hiding her face behind her hands.

_She ended his life, and she saved ours. She'd have taken care of me as good as she could…but they took me away from her. She killed my father, the man that had never been a real father to me…and…I hated her for killing him. It took me years to realize how much she did for me, and when I forgave her she told me she had forgiven my father. I could never forgive him. He destroyed what should have been my childhood. And he destroyed what should have been a family._

"I can't live without you!"

Two gravestones. Michael Sidle. George Sidle.

_He died through the hands of my mother. He deserved it to die. And Michael…Michael died because of him. He was turned into a brutal person by father and he died because he never learned to control himself. Why couldn't I help him? I should have tried. What I did wasn't enough…I should have tried to help him more. But I would have never been strong enough to save what wasn't able to be saved. He began to dig his own grave when he laid a hand on me for the first time. He hit me, he hit Mom, he hit his girlfriends…he killed his wife. She was only eighteen, and he only got twenty two. I don't know what I would have done…but I could understand her father when he killed him in revenge. My father wouldn't have killed for me…was this why I told the jury that I thought Michael deserved it?_

"I want to be with you forever!"

A man, about thirty years old and a young woman, sitting together in the audience room of UC Berkeley, drinking coffee together.

_For me it was love at first sight...and now I know that it was also for him. I loved him from then on. I never stopped loving him. When we first met he wassome kind of idol for me, he was the intelligent, handsome CSI three from the Las Vegas Crime lab and I was a CSI two from Frisco that attended his lectures of entomology because I never wanted to stop learning. I bet he didn't believe for one second that I was still a student. Although I wasn't much older than the others. We talked about forensics. We drank coffee together, we laughed, we joked, we had fun. I never trusted anybody, but I trusted him from the first second on. I would have jumped off a roof if he'd told me to do so. I would have done everything for him, and still I would._

"We have so many plans! You can not leave me by now!"

The same man, older now, and the same woman, standing behind a 'do not cross' line. Talking.

_When he asked me to come to Vegas my heart was beating faster than it ever did before, back then. It didn't even take me half a second to think about the answer. Sure it was yes. Yes! I still loved him although we hadn't seen each other for almost five years. I did not even need more than an hour to pack all my stuff. And three hours later I was on the flight to Vegas. I left all my life behind me. No…it was not a life. It was existing, not living. I never really lived before I finally got together with him._

"I love you, more than words can say!"

He sitting on her couch, she sitting on an armchair, she is crying and he is holding her hand.

_He was there for me when I was down. I hit the ground and he held my hand, he listened to me when I broke down. He said nothing but his actions said everything. He showed me that he cares for me and although I made a lot of idiotic things, I screwed up at work before and did it again…he trusts me, he keeps on trusting me. He showed me that he would be there for me, no matter what happened. He would be there and he would defend me when I needed to be defended. Once he said he couldn't do it…he couldn't risk something for me. But he proved himself wrong, because he did risk everything for me. _

"And I don't want to loose you. A life without you is not worth living Sara!"

A man and a woman, passionately kissing each other.

_He thought going out for dinner wouldn't be a good idea. And when we walked home he told me that he had been wrong with that. He told me how much fun it had been…and how much he had enjoyed being with me. And when we had reached the door of my apartment he stopped me, he twined his arms around my waist to press me close to him. His hands ran over my back, then one hand reached up to my face, he brushed a strand of hair out of my face, then he caressed my cheek, his thumb striped my lips, his face came closer to mine and then he closed the space between us. His lips felt softer than I thought they would. His beard tickled me, and I loved that. I loved everything. Every little part of this kiss. Our first kiss. I felt his tongue running over my lips and I opened my mouth to let his tongue in. Our tongues played with each other, danced around each other, danced with each other. His hands ran over my body, and I moaned into his mouth. He pressed me against the door and we kissed for a long time. I don't remember how long it was, but it seemed like an eternity, it felt like always._

"I want to marry you! I want you to be the mother of my children!"

_He told me he would love me until the end of time, until death would do us apart. And now…what's now…_

She felt free, for a couple of moments. Not knowing for how long.

Then something bolt like ran through her body.

And from this moment on there was nothing, she couldn't feel, she couldn't see, she couldn't hear his words anymore.

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A sound. There was a sound and she didn't know what it was. A regular sound. Not a ringing sound, it was more a beeping. She tried to focus on it, she tried to find out what it was, but she didn't know how. 

She felt that something stuck in her arm. She couldn't find out what it was either. Would she be able to open her eyes? What would she see? Where was she?

_Am I dead? Am I alive? Would I be able to feel if I'd be dead? And if I am not dead…how can I still be alive? I saw the car that crashed into mine…I should be dead. I should be dead. _

She opened her eyes, the bright light hurt in her eyes. It burned like fire, but she wouldn't close them again.

"Sara!"

_He is here! I am alive! And he is here! _

"Oh my God Sara! I…I…", tears rose up in his eyes and it didn't take more than half a second before they ran over his cheeks. "…I thought I would never get the chance to look into your brown eyes again. Honey I thought…I thought you would never wake up. They said you would never wake up, they said you shouldn't have survived this accident. They said it's a wonder. They said that you must have been fighting so hard, that something, ripped you away from the hands of death…they said your injuries would have been too bad and…that you lost too much blood. They said it's a wonder."

She tried to reach out for him, but she felt that she was too weak. She couldn't really move any part of her body.

"What…what happened?", she whispered. Her throat was dry like a desert.

"You had this car accident…you heart stopped beating. They…they could revitalize you…but you fell into a coma…they said they wouldn't know when you would wake up. They…they told me…sitting here and…waiting for you to wake up would be in vain." He swallowed hard. "Sara…I love you. I never gave up hope! I knew you'd wake up one day…I…I waited every day…I came here after work and left when shift was about to start. I knew you'd wake up and I wanted to be there. You…Sara I never gave you up…they said you were meant to be death, but you kept on fighting…and so did I."

_Why is he…how long have I been in coma? For how long? He says this as if it have been years…how long? How long have I been in coma?_

His hand held hers, he squeezed it softly than pressed it against his chest. "Can you feel my heart beating? It is beating only for you. It is beating only for you my Love. It always did."

She nodded softly.

"I love you so much!", he leaned over her and kissed her softly.

_His lips still feel the way they always did. I love it when he kisses me. I love him so much. _

"You have been in coma for three years.", he said softly .He made a pause, looking deep into her eyes. He brushed a strand of hair out of her face. "Do you remember the moment when we kissed for the first time?"

Finally her throat didn't feel that dried anymore. "I do…", she whispered. "…how could I ever forget?"

"And…do you remember what…we were talking about the evening before your accident?"

"Yes."

"Sara…three years have passed by and…"

_Is he going to tell me that he changed his plans?_ She swallowed hard_. I don't want to loose him! Things never changed for me! But…if he would want to…move on…to live a life without me…then I could understand. He had to wait all this time and…_

"…Sara, there were so many things running through my mind."

"Gil…you…don't have to think that…you are bound to…this engagement that…you don't have to justify your decisions…"

"…I still want to marry you."

Her heart bet fast and hard. A smile flashed over her lips.

He kissed her hand. "Sara, marry me, as soon as possible!"

**Sometimes something rips us out of the way that destiny planned for us. This time it was true love. True love that had to be fulfilled. **

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**THE END**

Okay, I really hope this had not been too confusing...just to defend me...these painkillers work like drugs for me! ...I should really stop taking them... (lol)

okay I hoped you liked this anyways...would be nice if you'd tell me what you think about this story, I somehow tried to write it in another style and I would like to know what you think of it.

**thank you for reading.**


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